We live in a world which has a short life..and we pray for a long one every day without knowing it..some of us give more credit to our virtues than our senses which tell us not to give any regard to them whatsoever..the others get the insight to see through it and laugh..and we laugh with them..fools that we are..one thing that we are oblivious to is the mockery of our being..after all..our short lived lives encompass agendas,far too many for any of us to achieve..and at the end of it all..we die with regrets..and we leave space for generations to do the same..a modern and completely unscientific definition of what we call.."sustainable development"...
There are those who prefer biting before actually chewing..these are the volcanoes of redundance..feeding on a dormant sense of importance..they get none though..and soon they realise that they don't have even a meal full of attention, because those giving them all their food also happened to be those whose hands they bit off..
Then come the people who feel they are emperors of an empty kingdom..they have a throne to sit on..but no one to give sermons to..they have a war strategy..but no one to fight with..they have a crown..but its never gold..they still are emperors though..they live with pride..and die with indignity..good souls as they are..they are harmless and sometimes all the battles that they ever get to fight are the ones with themselves..they chop their own head off..rying to fight the concept of the "enemy"...
The healthy, the happy and the indifferent are those who keep smiling..but they somehow never get an opportunity to laugh..sometimes maybe you need to care for something to feel how it is like to stop caring for it..they play it close to their chest..but what is best about them is their simplicity, honesty and honour..they don't leave behind much..except for a smirk on their face..content.
Something that bursts before your observant eyes is something you find hard shrugging off all so easily..and you associate the word "attachment" to it..dangerous as it sounds..you know the pro's and con's of it..but you are forced to see all that is good..for the time being of course..you look forward to the comradry..you hope to fight battles together..and you hope to win them without losing the other..you are flamingos...
What gives you the courage to see it all and pretend not to..or maybe not see anything at all and pretend to..is what keeps you going..you seem to admire every bit of it..wishing for it to never slow its pace..you give way to your own mind..you give reasons..you ask for them..and you couldn't be more happy about it..the head bows down to them..and you surrender..they conquer aspects of you..and you hope to conquer theirs..you win some..you lose some..but it remains with you..forever..this is not a frame of mind..its a way of life...
At the end of it all..you stand to choose..or you stand to lose..sometimes both..and there you stand..with a keen eye and scepticism all over your face..the most important moments of your life..testing you at every stage..the more you score..the more you win..one day you leave all of it behind for someone else to take lessons from it..sustainable development..and a dedicated life...
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The end of the battle and the first day of freedom.
We all want conflicts to end, but once they do, we realise that it was so much fun when anarchy and all its aspects took over us, our impulses had the courage to yield negative without a care for the world. We were disoriented, the mind was chaotic, but it was fun!
Time though, has something else in store for the average human mind.As much as you would want it to go on forever, the conflict in your head would probably come to a mutual understanding with your expectations and reality as you see it, and soon, you have come to a state of calm, where things seem resolved, here you are,you have for the time being, sorted out what was eating you up for all these days, months, years, and yet, you just don't find yourself happy.
Its probably because the biggest of problems is when you do not have a problem to deal with. I gave myself time, to only bide more time, put myself on probation like I am new technology, cleared it all out, which is probably never easy, and set myself up for a place of no conflict. I obviously needed time to come to terms with that, after all, it takes you time for everything, even to realise that you are happy!
And so what was never in my control, what I never probably had a strong hold of, what constitutes years and years of mindless motion up and down in a space indifferent to me and to which i was inconsequential, i obviously needed to wage war when i was good enough, and I did, and right now, I am the victor.
The first day of freedom is worst than any battle though, you feel completely helpless, completely unprepared, apprehensive, but you are excited all the same, you have something to look forward to, you have something to hope for, and as of now, that is the biggest form of happiness I can get, so kudos to my battle, kudos to my victory and kudos to the first day of my freedom...
Time though, has something else in store for the average human mind.As much as you would want it to go on forever, the conflict in your head would probably come to a mutual understanding with your expectations and reality as you see it, and soon, you have come to a state of calm, where things seem resolved, here you are,you have for the time being, sorted out what was eating you up for all these days, months, years, and yet, you just don't find yourself happy.
Its probably because the biggest of problems is when you do not have a problem to deal with. I gave myself time, to only bide more time, put myself on probation like I am new technology, cleared it all out, which is probably never easy, and set myself up for a place of no conflict. I obviously needed time to come to terms with that, after all, it takes you time for everything, even to realise that you are happy!
And so what was never in my control, what I never probably had a strong hold of, what constitutes years and years of mindless motion up and down in a space indifferent to me and to which i was inconsequential, i obviously needed to wage war when i was good enough, and I did, and right now, I am the victor.
The first day of freedom is worst than any battle though, you feel completely helpless, completely unprepared, apprehensive, but you are excited all the same, you have something to look forward to, you have something to hope for, and as of now, that is the biggest form of happiness I can get, so kudos to my battle, kudos to my victory and kudos to the first day of my freedom...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The foreplay to expectation
It starts with a conception, a very convenient image where everything seems positive, good, bright and you can hardly find flaws..its perfection enchants you, to the extent that you not only expect now but eagerly await to face it, live it, be in it!
Reality connected to the present with a tiny thread seems irrelevant, something that yoy want to just get over with and set aside like any other inconsequential thing in your life. All you can point out in it is bitter,ghastly at the face of it, in fact, you wouldn't even shy away from calling it miserable.
So there you have it, a weighing balance in your hand with the former and the latter battling it out, but where is the fairness? you are already biased arent you! But as nature and all the fairness embedded in its roots, as the concept of justice not delivered by anybody but delivered by everybody all the same demands, your bias does not go far..your conception crumbles on its feet, thirsting for a drop of hope, but alas! you are not ready to provide it with anything but rejection.
But the question that haunts me is, can you completely eliminate either of these two, your hope and your being? I guess not, although I won't be surprised if someone claims that they can, because we are just too good at convincing ourselves! No one needs to be taught, we see it everyday with our own eyes with regard to almost everything around us, "the little we know, probably the happier we are". Maybe some might differ. Alright "the little we know the more inquisitive we are", how does that sound? But the irony is that this curiosity, more often than not, breeds disappointment, bacause with every question you ask, your expectation rises, but with every answer you get, you just reliase that after all, things around you are too ordinary for you to seek what you might call the 'nirvana of your being', the biggest living cliche probably.
Lets end on a positive note though, no one ever defined this extent of perfection when it came to something as subjective as happiness, so whoever is happy with whatever, all that matters is probably the fact that you are happy!..ngegativity is a breeded worm, somehow it can feed on you even if you have everything in this world bereft of a strong mind and your need for a balance between your extremely volatile mind, your sense of content, and at last,what this is all about, the foreplay to your expectation!
Reality connected to the present with a tiny thread seems irrelevant, something that yoy want to just get over with and set aside like any other inconsequential thing in your life. All you can point out in it is bitter,ghastly at the face of it, in fact, you wouldn't even shy away from calling it miserable.
So there you have it, a weighing balance in your hand with the former and the latter battling it out, but where is the fairness? you are already biased arent you! But as nature and all the fairness embedded in its roots, as the concept of justice not delivered by anybody but delivered by everybody all the same demands, your bias does not go far..your conception crumbles on its feet, thirsting for a drop of hope, but alas! you are not ready to provide it with anything but rejection.
But the question that haunts me is, can you completely eliminate either of these two, your hope and your being? I guess not, although I won't be surprised if someone claims that they can, because we are just too good at convincing ourselves! No one needs to be taught, we see it everyday with our own eyes with regard to almost everything around us, "the little we know, probably the happier we are". Maybe some might differ. Alright "the little we know the more inquisitive we are", how does that sound? But the irony is that this curiosity, more often than not, breeds disappointment, bacause with every question you ask, your expectation rises, but with every answer you get, you just reliase that after all, things around you are too ordinary for you to seek what you might call the 'nirvana of your being', the biggest living cliche probably.
Lets end on a positive note though, no one ever defined this extent of perfection when it came to something as subjective as happiness, so whoever is happy with whatever, all that matters is probably the fact that you are happy!..ngegativity is a breeded worm, somehow it can feed on you even if you have everything in this world bereft of a strong mind and your need for a balance between your extremely volatile mind, your sense of content, and at last,what this is all about, the foreplay to your expectation!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
TATD
Philosophy and belief can only form a part of life, significant but with an expiry date appended to every inch of its rigidity.What remains after the implosion is all that is real, so makes it worthwhile talking about relality.
Reality currently involves a conflict in the head. Morality is a very subjective term which can be moulded to sound right as well as wrong. On the other hand, you have to remember that at the end of the day, there are only those counted few faces which the head involuntariliy turns to in distress.They never refuse, they are somehow bound not to.
Brings me to the question of time. Cannot wait for it to grab you by the neck. As I have always believed, life is a bitch, and then you die! Sadly enough, you leave nothing behind of any consequence to your uncertain afterlife. So live it when you can, and face all consequences with your head held high, that is one way of looking at it. The other would be to do all that is considered right. There will be no consequences that you are trained not to deal with and everything can get the aid of everyone.
Somehow though, you never end up making a choice between these two. All we do is go round and round and wait for ourselves to see both merge, it never happens. If there were defined limits to thought process, then humans would have exploited it. The only reason we have not is because we keep outperforming our own limits. We set new ones.
All that remains thus, is your tiny little life with its tiny little moments and the unforgiving second that fills every gap. The attempt thus will be, strange as it may sound..to hold out that tiny piece of parchment and let it get wet, just so it goes beyond everything that binds it..ink..someone's opinion..a sacrosanct moment of truth..everything!let it be a blur, incoherent and independent.The consequences shall be embraced, with arms wide open!..As someone said to me..these are the days...
Reality currently involves a conflict in the head. Morality is a very subjective term which can be moulded to sound right as well as wrong. On the other hand, you have to remember that at the end of the day, there are only those counted few faces which the head involuntariliy turns to in distress.They never refuse, they are somehow bound not to.
Brings me to the question of time. Cannot wait for it to grab you by the neck. As I have always believed, life is a bitch, and then you die! Sadly enough, you leave nothing behind of any consequence to your uncertain afterlife. So live it when you can, and face all consequences with your head held high, that is one way of looking at it. The other would be to do all that is considered right. There will be no consequences that you are trained not to deal with and everything can get the aid of everyone.
Somehow though, you never end up making a choice between these two. All we do is go round and round and wait for ourselves to see both merge, it never happens. If there were defined limits to thought process, then humans would have exploited it. The only reason we have not is because we keep outperforming our own limits. We set new ones.
All that remains thus, is your tiny little life with its tiny little moments and the unforgiving second that fills every gap. The attempt thus will be, strange as it may sound..to hold out that tiny piece of parchment and let it get wet, just so it goes beyond everything that binds it..ink..someone's opinion..a sacrosanct moment of truth..everything!let it be a blur, incoherent and independent.The consequences shall be embraced, with arms wide open!..As someone said to me..these are the days...
A poor man's prophecy
A black screen, full of what cannot be defined, what cannot be seen and what definitely cannot be felt from an outsider's point of view. A white image makes its way to the top of a white line that forms in the meantime, dividing the screen into three parts. The part behind the line, the past. In front of the line, the future. On the line i stand.
Life begins here, actually its not a beginning, its a start, one of those distinctions you make to maintain your peace of mind just so you can make your philosophy count. The beginning awaits, sometime in the future maybe, but time is the best player around! Don't know how many it will beat, but count me in for sure.
Life begins here, actually its not a beginning, its a start, one of those distinctions you make to maintain your peace of mind just so you can make your philosophy count. The beginning awaits, sometime in the future maybe, but time is the best player around! Don't know how many it will beat, but count me in for sure.
Etymology
Most names have a story..and most stories do not know when and how they began. This one is a little more specific though, and yet very vague in the sense that it personifies the limitless invisible boundaries wherein we try finding our defined corner, sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail.
The beauty of it though, is that the attempt never dies out, and we keep trying. Beginnings make way for more beginnings, we convince ourselves that each one is as novel as the previous, and we fall into the loop. I've just fallen into mine, and so i write.
The beauty of it though, is that the attempt never dies out, and we keep trying. Beginnings make way for more beginnings, we convince ourselves that each one is as novel as the previous, and we fall into the loop. I've just fallen into mine, and so i write.
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